personal development

Determination

I went to PSU today, to verify my that my application was complete. I am glad I did.

Today is the end of week 5 of the term. I withdrew in the middle of week 3 and requested all my transcripts that day.

All of my transcripts have come in, but there seems to be a problem: my OSU transcripts were apparently showing that I was still enrolled and needed to show a W to prove that I had withdrawn.  Panic 1.

Then I found out the cost per credit hour but totally misunderstood the chart. I thought the price went up drastically for EACH credit hour, the more hours you signed up for. For instance, my addled brain thought that if I took a 4 credit course, I would be paying $568 (the actual total for the class, I believe) X 4= 2272 for EACH four credit course I attended, instead of merely being $2272 total for all classes (a much more reasonable figure, in my opinion, of course). Panic 2.

If I’m wrong, I will certainly let you know.

Previously, I would have responded to this type of situation by stopping whatever I was doing. To give up. For surely, it was a sign from the universe that I was on the wrong path. Whatever it took to talk myself out of it, that’s what I would have done.

Today was different.

This time I chose to react differently. I  called OSU to explain my issue and seek help. The kind lady on the phone taught me how to bypass the problem-causing system and subsequently get a physical copy mailed out that should be mailed tomorrow or first thing Monday. And I verified that OSU’s system shows W for all my classes this term and financial aid has been processed. So, when they receive the physical transcripts, they will be exactly what PSU asked for.

Which means BOOM! Task complete and I will be all set to receive my acceptance  within 4-6 weeks (there are 6 weeks left before the end of Fall Term). Once I have the acceptance, I can attend Orientation, speak with an adviser to plan my classes, and also apply for jobs on campus.

Panics resolved and averted. Determination renewed.

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Categories: academics, changing behaviors, personal development, personal growth | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

An Update to “Bravery”

It turns out that yes, I do have it.

And there were more than two blogs I am combining here.

It is still a work in progress, but I am loving it!

 

Categories: personal development, writing | Leave a comment

Changes over the horizon. . .

I know that blogs are supposed to be keyed to between 6 and 10 key words to facilitate being seen on the web.
Well, I’m switching from multiple blogs (each of whom will have a parent page and multiple subpages that I will update first through my blog, and then (after a day or two) manually. I want all of my writing here. I want to eventually own my own domain address. That is the goal; that is the main reason for the changes/consolidation. (though having everything easily at hand helps, too; when you have 8 blogs, this can be an issue.) So, a warning to all who read here: I am consolidating and adding new works. 🙂

Categories: personal development, writing | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Signs?

Sometimes, even those of us who long to be strictly rational (emulating Spock? Nah. . .) can see circumstances and the random chance of things as “signs”. I speak, of course, of myself. I have been waiting, in limbo, for months for a purchase to go through. Today was the deadline for walking away.

Lo and behold, the coveted approval came through!

Of course, we are still “waiting on a seller’s signature” but, “it is approved!”

When you’ve been waiting and agonizing over six months, and are still waiting, and the conclusion of this sale means a drastic improvement for your family, you are understandably torn when said approval arrives with caveats.

I had been firm on the understanding that I could not endure another semester of the anxiety and stress that underwent for Spring term. Having hoped/prayed/believed that the sale would be decided before Fall term, I enrolled in my classes. When then sale was still pending, at the same state as prior, when week 3 of Fall term hit, I knew I had to make a change.

This, of course, is not the only reason I am switching institutions, but it is an even tie in importance.

Waiting to move into a home that provides security, serenity, and “dream home” status to you takes its toll.

When you are highly competitive and driven to succeed in school (and older by a damn sight than the vast majority of your “peers”) the stress of this prolonged state of anxiety can prove detrimental.

When I was tasked with doing a second (in my career) ethnography, I realized I did not have the connections to make this assignment feasible for me. I also realized that I could not complete this term successfully while waiting to buy a house. This took its toll as well.

So, I took steps.

I decided to explore the option of transferring to a local university, where I would be required to attend at least some classes in person. (When you want to pursue at least one Ph.D, personal professional/academic connections are important- and are, in my experience, impossible to achieve via online mediums only)

I’ve loved my time at OSU. I am grateful and thankful that they accepted me as a distance education student; it was a moment of personal validation that I have long needed, without realizing it.

Now, however, I also realize that I need, crave, and cannot live without human connection. Verily, my entire career is centered around it (a sign of an attachment disorder, perhaps?) and yet I had been denying it to myself. For very valid reasons, true, but denying nonetheless (I love that word and don’t care who hates it or why!).

Now is my time.

Finally.

Be prepared for a change of site.

I am trying to figure out how to combine all my blogs (8+ on two different sites) into one website.

🙂

Categories: adult student, education, personal development | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

It’s Official!

Have officially taken the next step in changing my education (and in my view, life) path. I have officially dis-enrolled from OSU. I have to fax a paper to financial aid, which I’ll do this afternoon, and the status won’t officially be processed until tomorrow, but it will be retroactively effective to today’s date. Now to send one last email to a lovely instructor, then off to write, research, explore, grow, heal, and whatever else strikes my fancy for the next few weeks. Oh, how I look forward to the future now!

🙂

Categories: adult student, education, personal development | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Changes, Changes, All I See Are Changes . . .

So, I have come to the realization recently that I thrive on changes. It should have been obvious to me, had I been keyed into the signs. However, I was oblivious and simply took the signs of a fundamental personality quirk as a happenstance, an ability to go with the flow, as they say.

All of my earliest memories take place in separate locations. We moved rather frequently before I turned 7. Then moved again when I was 12. My formative years were not location-ally stable. I have always been more excited than trepidations when faced with relocation. I chose the Navy, out of all of the military branches (that I would serve was a no brainer- my parents couldn’t afford to send me to college and I had been so consumed with depression, despite putting on a “happy” front, that my grade point average would have guaranteed that no decent college would have accepted me). I craved impermanence.

When I first started going to college, the very idea of being around people, enclosed in a room for hours at a time, sounded like my own personal hell (more accurately, one of many) and I could not fathom enduring it. I did apply at a regular physical, brick and mortar school but the process took too long and I ended up going to an online institution.

I thrived.

When I graduated with that degree, I immediately looked for another educational institution where I could attend strictly online and still get the degree(s) I want. Turns out, that was OSU.

Now, the time has come for me to change, once again.

Instead of being a self-abusive un-socialized introvert, I am going to take strides and make efforts toward becoming the personable, confident, honorable person I know myself to be inside, on the outside. I’m pretty neat and I’m tired of denying it, even to myself. 🙂

All of this is to say that I am actively pursuing an institution change and will be physically commuting to my place of education (and, fingers crossed, place of work) starting in January. I hope to call PSU my academic home for at least the next year and a half, if not for the rest of my education-seeking career (a doctorate or two from PSU doesn’t sound too bad; research them. I feel sometimes like they have “Your University” emblazoned in neon, waiting for me to take notice).

So, no disrespect intended, but I cannot wait to get out of the house every week, to make connections, to engage and embrace cultures. I realized that I cannot be a cultural anthropologist, or culturally relevant writer, without being out in the world.

I wish I could.

I love online learning.

I love the recent project by Ivy league universities to bring online education to 1 million students who didn’t have it before. I wish I’d had it while I was growing up and I still want and intend to contribute to that effort.

I just want to do it while forging some real life friendships.

Also, it takes an incredible amount of personal discipline to achieve honor roll at a state level university while going only online. I haven’t had a problem with that until now, when my “real” life has become a wee bit all-encompassing, stress-wise, leaving little energy left for online studies.

So, long story still kind of long, transferring to PSU is the right decision for me and I am going to pursue it as far as I can. In other words, I will likely start Winter term at PSU and I cannot wait! 😀

Categories: adult student, education, personal development | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

A New Birthday, A New Resolution

A milestone birthday is fast approaching for me. It seems as though when we are faced with these markers in time, we tend to react in one of a few extreme ways. Some of us panic, trying desperately to turn back the hands of time to recapture an imagined glorious youth. Others freeze time, refusing to admit to aging past their chosen year. Still others buy sports cars or have hot, steamy affairs to try to fill a hole in their psyches. None of those options suit me, so I decided to embrace a new challenge.

This is not a lackadaisical impulse but is instead the culmination of one chapter of my life and the embarkation of another. I invite you to come along for the journey as I throw my hat into the writing ring.

My goal is one 500 word article per week, subject to increase in the future.

I am open to topic suggestions.

Thank you and happy writing.

Categories: personal development, writing | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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