Monthly Archives: June 2015

Long overdue. . .

So, I recently spent another weekend away from home, hanging with my hubby in his other residence. When I came home, I had a series of realizations that crystallized into a mental switch being flipped. All of a sudden, I was happy in my skin again. This led me to making changes both in my behaviors and in my surroundings.

I planted seeds for flowers finally, and I reorganized my kitchen, truly settling into it for the first time since we moved in. Later this afternoon, the offspring and I will be starting work on the garage.

I finally had an important conversation with a loved one and am working to set that relationship on the right course again.

All in all, I have to admit that, while I wish there were no necessary separation of my hubby and myself, I truly love my life for the first time ever. I honestly think it’s because I finally, truly, love myself. It’s weird, and I am by no means cured of depression, but I feel so much stronger, mentally, than I have in recent memory.

Now, I’ve decided that I’m going to look into reputable companies that offer work-from-home positions, as that has been my dream for a while: if I wasn’t working in academia as an anthropologist, then I’d want to work from home. There’s nothing stopping me from pursuing that goal, so that’s what I’m going to do.

Fingers crossed, here I go! 😀

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Traumatic day? . . .

Nope! Instead, a wonderful day full of healing and strength.

I faced a hurdle this morning that I had thought would undo all of the hard-earned progress I’ve made recently, psychologically.

I came out the other side virtually unscathed.

It is weird to me to see a situation wherein another is acting in a negative way and not try to assume responsibility. Yet, today, I did so. I wonder if this is part of the key to healing my depression: not assuming responsibility or guilt when something goes wrong or when someone I know is hurting. My encounter took place early in my day, yet I was able to rise above it and perform my job to the best of my ability, rather than wallowing and stewing all day about what I’d done wrong or how I could have made the situation better. Sometimes, it truly is the little things that count.

After work, I knew that I’d be going into town for groceries, and originally, my eldest was going to walk to my work to meet me so that I didn’t have to go home first. Well, I was struck with inspiration early in my work day and decided that I wanted to go to the beach before grocery shopping.

Now, my eldest hates it when I change plans, but my youngest hadn’t been anywhere except school and home for quite some time, so I was conflicted. In the end, I went for the change of plans, called and invited both to accompany me to the beach.

It turned out to be the best idea I’ve had in a very long time.

I’ve always felt something rejuvenating while visiting the beach. The sounds of the waves, the rocks shifting underfoot, the smell of “sushi” (as my youngest calls it) and the sight of fathomless depths stretching out as far as the eye can see have always served to make me feel complete, whole, and, yes, small. Perhaps that sense of perspective is the true healing salve I draw from the beach. No matter what you call it, or how you define it, my time spent at the beach today, in a city park no less, was the best hour and a half I’ve had in days.

😀

I hope you all had a wonderful moment in your day that served to remind you of why life is worth living.

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Lack of inspiration

I’d like to thank my dear friend Jen for calling me out and inspiring me to write this post.

I’ve been undertaking some rather nasty financial issues the past couple of days and found myself wallowing in self-pity. Not an attractive look for anyone, and definitely not a healthy habit for me to indulge in. I’d like to say that this will be the last time I succumb to the blues, but I’m trying to live honestly, and I know myself well enough to know that the next bout could be right around the corner. What I will say is that I will redouble my efforts to be aware of such behavior and take steps to avoid it.

That being said, on to the beauty of the day. As I write this, a twitter-pated bird is doing his best to annoy me with his warbling, whistling song. He had almost succeeded. Then, I started writing.

The evening light is glowing through the trees and dappling the ferns I can see in my back yard. I truly am blessed to be living where I am. It is healing place for me, when I take the time to appreciate it. Old growth forest is so calming and majestic. If only I was a better photographer, I’d share with you all the sights I treasure. As it is, any photo I took would not do the scene justice. I hope this post finds you all well, loved, and finding your own beauty in your day.

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