Recently, I had to face the fact that not everything I try for will fall into my lap, regardless of how much I want (need!) it.
I’ve found that my scholastic site has suffered neglect this whole term, and to top it off, I didn’t get a scholarship I desperately wanted (In hindsight, I can totally see where I botched the interview.) In my defense, it was the first interview I’ve gone on in at least 7 years. Combined with the reality of actually being around (a lot of!) people on a regular basis, I think the stress just went to my mouth and the filter between vocal chords and brain disintegrated for a while. Then, you take into account the fact that I was never a participant in the program I was interviewing for and I can totally understand why I didn’t get chosen for a position.
Not that odds are irrelevant, but when you factor those into the situation, I’m not sure I ever had a shot. . .There were 40 positions, and 120 candidates were interviewed.
No matter. The result of this has been for me to undertake a couple of new, positive projects, instead of the negative emotions and the dark period I’d expected.
This is a landmark occasion; celebrating the positive, or reacting in a positive way to disappointment, so I felt I should commemorate the occasion.
As a result, I made my other site private, until I figure out how I want to focus it (and fit it into my schedule). One less thing for me to stress about.
Now, off to taking notes for my Ancient Greek Lit paper.