So, I have come to the realization recently that I thrive on changes. It should have been obvious to me, had I been keyed into the signs. However, I was oblivious and simply took the signs of a fundamental personality quirk as a happenstance, an ability to go with the flow, as they say.
All of my earliest memories take place in separate locations. We moved rather frequently before I turned 7. Then moved again when I was 12. My formative years were not location-ally stable. I have always been more excited than trepidations when faced with relocation. I chose the Navy, out of all of the military branches (that I would serve was a no brainer- my parents couldn’t afford to send me to college and I had been so consumed with depression, despite putting on a “happy” front, that my grade point average would have guaranteed that no decent college would have accepted me). I craved impermanence.
When I first started going to college, the very idea of being around people, enclosed in a room for hours at a time, sounded like my own personal hell (more accurately, one of many) and I could not fathom enduring it. I did apply at a regular physical, brick and mortar school but the process took too long and I ended up going to an online institution.
When I graduated with that degree, I immediately looked for another educational institution where I could attend strictly online and still get the degree(s) I want. Turns out, that was OSU.
Now, the time has come for me to change, once again.
Instead of being a self-abusive un-socialized introvert, I am going to take strides and make efforts toward becoming the personable, confident, honorable person I know myself to be inside, on the outside. I’m pretty neat and I’m tired of denying it, even to myself. 🙂
All of this is to say that I am actively pursuing an institution change and will be physically commuting to my place of education (and, fingers crossed, place of work) starting in January. I hope to call PSU my academic home for at least the next year and a half, if not for the rest of my education-seeking career (a doctorate or two from PSU doesn’t sound too bad; research them. I feel sometimes like they have “Your University” emblazoned in neon, waiting for me to take notice).
So, no disrespect intended, but I cannot wait to get out of the house every week, to make connections, to engage and embrace cultures. I realized that I cannot be a cultural anthropologist, or culturally relevant writer, without being out in the world.
I wish I could.
I love online learning.
I love the recent project by Ivy league universities to bring online education to 1 million students who didn’t have it before. I wish I’d had it while I was growing up and I still want and intend to contribute to that effort.
I just want to do it while forging some real life friendships.
Also, it takes an incredible amount of personal discipline to achieve honor roll at a state level university while going only online. I haven’t had a problem with that until now, when my “real” life has become a wee bit all-encompassing, stress-wise, leaving little energy left for online studies.
So, long story still kind of long, transferring to PSU is the right decision for me and I am going to pursue it as far as I can. In other words, I will likely start Winter term at PSU and I cannot wait! 😀